Torn between the struggle of being single at 25 and trying to find a job, my soul needed a change. I was like a person opening the fridge hoping they find something that satisfies their craving. The problem is that that person wasn’t sure what he desire. All I knew is that I wanted something to be different, but as I sat there in prayers I knew that none of these things will feed the hunger that is in my soul. The struggle I am facing at the moment is temporary, neither a man nor a job will solve it indefinitely. Yes, I presume they would help; God will give them to me when He is ready, but they aren’t the food that would feed my soul eternally. ST. Augustine says “our hearts are restless until they rest in you oh Lord.” This restless heart of mine cannot be satisfied with the anyone else, but Him. Apart from Christ, everything is secondary. Do that mean the struggle went away? Most certainly not, but what it means is that I would rather wait with Christ for His plans for me than go out into the world trying to do things on my own. Without Him everything is useless. What will I profit if I rebel against God with my stubbornness? Who will lose? Just as Peter did, I too have found the Messiah where am I to go? I don’t know about you, but I would rather persist in my struggles than walk away from Him.
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want to be genuinely loved! Genuine love is demanding; how could that be possible? Isn’t “love” supposed to be about letting yourself go into the arms of another? Isn’t love about following your heart quickly and without thought? How then can it be demanding?
Well, If we suppose that genuine love means to love my significant other as I love myself, it must be then that I must treat the other with the same respect I do for myself. If I were to demand this type of love, I must be willing to offer it as well. I must make sacrifices for my future husband that I would want made for myself; even if I have not met him yet. We are in the age of fitness, my self love demand that I go to the gym so that I am healthier. It also demands that I make better choices in terms of food. Spiritually, my love life demands of me that I make better choices as well. It is a struggle at times to go the gym, but it must be done for my personal sake. It is a struggle at times to preserver in chastity, but I am happy to make this sacrifice (with God’s Grace), to deal with the struggles, because the beauty of genuine love is knowing that I am doing this for the sake of my marriage (which, yes I know does not exist yet, but sacrifices for it start before the vows). Now many tell me, “well, Rita you know in today’s age, the guy is probably not waiting until marriage”. Yes I am fully aware of this, it does not bother me at all. Let me tell you why! First, I am accountable for my own actions and not his. If I were to demand genuine love I must first be willing to offer it. For example going to the gym personally benefits me, no other body is effected by my exercise, just my body! Second, maybe my future husband knows nothing about genuine love. Maybe no one has ever demonstrated it to him. For example, if the guy goes to the gym regularly, little by little, his significant other may start joining him. She may start to see the positive side of exercising; he would have positively influenced her. Maybe when I meet him it will be my job to demand genuine love, but demonstrating what it looks like, and with years of training that should not be a problem. |
AuthorHey! I am Rita A. Saikali. This is my humble experience with my wonderful Jesus. Thank you for reading. Archives
January 2020
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